Appalachian Words of the Week - AND ONE TO GROW ON!

This week I'm sharing the words that brought a sense of dread to my life every year at this time. AND ONE TO GROW ON!

Do you know what they mean?

Tomorrow is my birthday. Every year on my birthday, it seemed the entire world showed up to torture and assault me in the false sentiment of wishing me a happy birthday. No! They were looking for an excuse to bully, hurt, and demoralize me in public.

And one to grow on!

For those of you who never heard of this annual practice of assaulting the birthday kid, I'll tell you what happened.

From the moment you woke on your birthday, everyone you knew, and some you didn't know, took turns spanking you. My brother was always the first and most severe.

You got one smack on the rear for each year old you were. Of course, the older you were, the more smacks.

But the one that really hurt more than the others was the final AND ONE TO GROW ON!

It stung to sit at my desk the entire day. Lunchtime and recess were the most dangerous times. I usually tried to find a place to hide out.

The best birthday I can remember is the one where we "outgrew" getting spanked. It was more likely that it became an offense where retribution would be delved out on our behalf by the Principal. Thank goodness for puberty.

Having my birthday so near Christmas meant my mom didn't give me a birthday gift. She always told me that one of my Christmas gifts was my birthday gift.

That was doubly sad because I knew that she never gave me any Christmas gifts either. Santa brought all my gifts. Talk about feeling unimportant. That's why I always made sure the best gift on my son's Christmas list came wrapped with a tag "From: Mom and Dad," not Santa.

Coconut birthday cake

I did get one thing for my birthday that I didn't get any other time of the year. Birthday cake. I LOVE coconut and coconut cake is the best thing in the world. My mom gave me coconut cake every year. I know it was a sacrifice for her -- since she thought the only cake worth eating was chocolate.

At least Mom and Dad never initiated the AND ONE TO GROW ON! torture for my birthday.

These days I celebrate my birthday with just one slice of coconut cake. Being diabetic limits my pleasure. But the cake I eat is the best coconut cake I have ever eaten. I buy one slice from Marietta Diner. It is so huge, it takes me a week to eat the one slice.

I am now anxious and excited when my birthday arrives. Not only for the coconut cake but because it means I've lived one more year!

Did you get ONE TO GROW ON! when you were a kid? How did you handle it? I'd love to hear your story.